To avoid my nonsense and skip straight to the News Article click here.
It caught me pretty off guard yesterday when Amy Donaldson with the Deseret News called me as I was lounging around my house still in my running clothes. I had just finished running a lovely 7 miles along my typical loop on a crisp, cool, and very relaxing Sunday morning. It was a good run – the birds were chirping, the weather was perfect, and it was quiet, tranquil almost. It was one of those runs that really allowed me to think about Trevor and reflect. It was a run I needed after a very difficult weekend. My pace was leisurely and I even stopped to soak in the crisp air and take a picture of my surroundings.
The weekend was very heavy emotionally for me and my family. We laid my cousin Lieutenant Joshua Ryan Wall to rest. It was a difficult day. Josh was witty, intelligent, humble, and lived an amazing life of service for his country. Many of his incredible qualities reminded me so much of my brother and it was an absolute honor to know Josh. His funeral service was perfect and such an incredible tribute to the amazing life he lived and the impact he left on all of those who were lucky enough to know him.
With Saturday’s events still weighing heavily on my mind it felt so right and so natural to share my story with Amy when she called. It is overwhelming and scary to open up about such personal details in my journey of overcoming my little brothers death. It is difficult to relive and tell the story of those moments, days, weeks, that I lost him. Those moments that I lost a part of me! But never have I felt so right about sharing my story and letting it go public. When you are interviewed by a reporter over the phone and sharing an incredibly raw, candid, and personal story it is hard to know if the words are coming out correctly. But Amy did a phenomenal job of portraying my story perfectly: Running saved Payson woman after accident stole her brother’s life
I am really full of emotion as this story hits the local news shelves. I barely slept a wink last night worried about how my words would come out on paper and if what I was saying would make sense and resonate with others. Overwhelming feelings of anxiety, embarrassment and being undeserving of this type of publicity and recognition flooded me this morning. However as I sit here typing now, still processing, and re-reading the article my worries have changed to triumph and thankfulness for the opportunity to share my story and to honor my brother’s legacy. My brother Trevor was unique, creative, loving, and nurturing. He was one of a kind and too perfect for this earth. His struggles with mental illness were indescribably difficult but he never complained. He lived his life with love and always put others before himself.
May I remember my brothers incredible example and continue to move forward and accomplish my goals in his honor. One step, one breathe, one moment at a time.